Remembering Jeanene

 

We became family friends with Skip and Jeanene when I was a teenager, and they have been a positive influence on my life.  As I went to the funeral for Jeanene today, I was thinking of several times when she stepped up for me, and later for me and my wife.

Graduation party, 1999

The first is that when I found out I was intolerant to gluten in 2002, my mom alerted me to the fact that Jeanene was also gluten-free. So I met with Jeanene at her house, and she showed me how to read labels of food to look for hidden gluten (modified food starch).  In those days, the labels didn't say gluten-free, and it wasn't a cultural thing yet on restaurant menus or packaging. She also suggested bringing my own gluten-free pasta, and asking the restaurant to cook it.  I never took up her idea on that one!  Overall, this was a meaningful experience for me, since she was the only person I knew who was gluten-free, and she took the time to teach me how to take care of myself.

Second, when my mom had cancer in 2000, I remember spending time with mom before her surgery in the hospital.  Jeanene was there with us, and asking if we needed anything.  She went and got me a sandwich - ironically this was before I knew I was gluten-free, and Jeanene unwittingly provided me with the allergen.  But the main memory, is that in my immaturity it didn't make much sense to me that we were having an emotional sendoff to my mom into surgery.  I mentioned to Jeanene that I was uncomfortable with it, and didn't really need that moment, and she told me, "Sometimes these moments aren't for you, they are for the sick person."  She could have scoffed at me, but she helped me to understand the moment in the most gentle but effective way.

Third, she hosted the bridal shower for my wife at her house.  And Skip and Jeanene attended the wedding. This post is about Jeanene, but one of my favorite quotes from Skip was when he said he wouldn't miss our wedding "for all the bourbon in Kentucky". 

Another interesting memory is that she administered the Myers-Briggs to our family (when I was a teenager).  I'm not sure why that took place, or what the background story was, but it showed how good she was at speaking and facilitating.

Jeanene ended up getting Alzheimer's and couldn't recognize people.  And she lived that way for over 10 years, in a special care facility.  So I had not seen her in a long time.  She recently passed away at the age of 80.

She was a witty, intelligent, and energetic person, with a dynamic personality.